Just the 4 of Us

This is very (VERY!) hard to write right now, but the only way to say it is that N is no longer with us. For some reasons of which we still don't understand and don't think we'll ever get more clarification on, he has been moved to another foster home. We brought him back to our agency yesterday, hoping this would be cleared up quickly. When we returned today to meet with them (after lots of tears and frustration) we were informed that we would not be getting him back. That's really all I can share with you. I know that this news sounds empty, as does my heart.

As far as where we go from here? We do not feel like we were well represented or well informed by the agency we were going through and at this time of limbo, we are going to investigate our options. This may mean that we start over with training through someone else, but we are going to be in prayer about how God can be seen in this story. I'm sure (have my hope in) that another mom and dad have been praying as fervently as we were and will feel truly blessed to have N enter their home, but right now, it just isn't sitting well. It's hard to see God in this... I KNOW He is there (here) and that we don't see the whole picture that He sees, but this is very difficult.


We are so thankful for all the love and support that we have received from all of you and we look forward to sharing another joy with you sometime in the future... but right now, we are heartbroken and will need to spend some time leaning on the Lord for comfort and understanding.


Right now, as I try to see God in this, the scripture that comes to mind is James 1:2-3

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

In the same book of the Bible is where God instructed us to take this action of adopting in the first place.... James 1:27

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to take care of widows and orphans and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

We need to keep our eyes on the book of James, huh?

Yes, because it is also in that book where God tells us that

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father in heaven. James 1:17. (This one is above Ryan's crib)

We believe God when He tells us all these things.
God does not call us to easy things.
He does not make promises of only happiness and joy here on earth.
His promise is an eternal one, one that allows us to have hope.
He gives and takes away.
He loves us, in our joys and our sorrows.
He promises that life here on earth is not going to be easy and that we will have trials in which we will find the need to fall into His loving arms for comfort and peace.
Only His hands can comfort us now.
Only His word is truth.

And a big thing that brings us peace.... He was NOT surprised by what happened today. He knew this would happen and that means He believes we can handle this and move forward. We believe and know that God will not give us more than we can handle, and that He has plans to prosper and not to harm. So, we move forward, only standing on His truth!

This does not mean that I have not cried my eyes out today. I have fallen on my knees asking for comfort and understanding, as well as for the words on how to explain this to a 4yr old, tender-hearted kid that in three short days, completely fell in love with his new "brother." I cannot remember the last time I cried this much... but I know that this is a part of my faith walk and a chance for me to show my children that you can be sad and still honor God. You can not understand and not have all the answers, and still honor God. You can cry and be frustrated, but also turn around and look at the blessings you do have and show honor to God.

We knew that going this route to get another baby was not going to be easy, but we are also hoping that our actions will be pleasing to our Lord and we would appreciate your continued prayers.

All our love,
The Four of Us

And then there were three... BOYS!

We added our third boy the the family this weekend. Of course, going the path we are going in order to truly call him "ours" is going to take a bit of time, but in our hearts, he is all ours! God has truly blessed us and we cannot wait to see this progression of three boys growing up together. Only God knows what's in store for this family!

Dear baby N,
We love you already! God has been preparing our hearts for this throughout the last 6 months and we hope you know how much you are loved. Our family is beside themselves with how precious you are your oldest brother Logan is truly smitten. Ryan is still a bit confused about what is happening these last few days, but he loves to watch you, touch your nose and of course, try to take your bottle away and share your pacis! He's so tender giving you kisses whenever you are in reach... which isn't often since we'd like to keep you safe!

We are in prayer for you precious one... that you would get to be "ours" in the eyes of the law one day soon and that the Lord would grow you and bless you all the days of your life. You are "God given" in so many ways! We pray that you never doubt how much you were wanted and desired and that you always feel like this is exactly where you belong. May God's will be done in your life sweet boy!
Love you!



**Photos of Baby N that appear on the blog will continue to be from farther away without a full view of his face until the adoption process is complete! We respect the privacy of his situation and the law that desires us to keep his information a bit more private.

FOUR

Happy Birthday Logan!

I cannot believe that our first baby is 4!!! When I said that to him this morning, the response was the expected, "Mom, I'm NOT a baby!!" Yes, he is not a baby, but he was my first and what a fabulous 4 years it has been! All I ever wanted to be was a mother and being Logan's mom has been such a delight!

At 4, Logan is a very busy and bright kid! He loves books and will sit with you and watch a whole movie all the way through, but those are really the only times that he will be still... and even during those times, stillness isn't frequent! :-) He's a pretty strong willed little man, and though that can sometimes be a challenge, it is also one of the things that reminds me that he is MY son! We love his personality and how outgoing and fun he can be. He is so smart, sometimes too smart for mommy to get away with anything! He's learning to read, growing a great imagination, has picked up simple addition, and is a bit obsessed with the clock and time. Some things he's into at this age:

-Thomas the train (birthday theme!)
-Still LOVES cars and trucks, anything that goes!
-Playing baseball, though he is no longer able to play in the backyard... too many balls over the fence!
-Riding his bike, or pushing Ryan in his car
-Jumping on the trampoline
-Anything Toy Story, particularly Mr.Potato Head
-Board games

There is so much more and each day he continues to amaze us with the things he says and does. Like yesterday, he said the pledges (both the American and Texas flag!) and I didn't even know he knew them or that they were teaching that at his preschool! So cute, video coming soon I hope!

Grana has been in town this whole week to see him for his birthday and on Wednesday we took a birthday trip to the zoo. Great day for all of us, the weather was beautiful and both boys really had a great time!

In front of the fake rhino... real ones coming in October
Typical boy... the lizard showed his tongue,
so Logan stuck his out too!
Always love the carousel ride...
Ryan's first time!
He wouldn't hold on and didn't smile until it was over...
typical for his serious personality!
Loved the sea lion show!
And Ryan sure couldn't get enough peeks!
Grana treated to ice cream before we headed home
and it was enjoyed by ALL!

The zoo was great fun! Thankfully, Jeff's mom and dad got Ryan (or all of us, I guess) a family membership for Ryan's 1st birthday. So, now we can go as often as we'd like and I think the boys are going to love taking advantage of it! They got us the super cool membership too, because it covers enough people to invite friends along whenever we are able. Seeing a lot of zoo playdates in our future!


Some more pictures of our 4 year old...

Playing doctor, always ready to write a prescription
(Grandparents buy the best gifts!)

He LOVES babies, especially cousin Emily

And a new favorite... board games,
particularly Sorry!
Here he is playing with T, with Ryan looking on


Dear Logan,
You are such an awesome little guy! You keep me laughing and looking at you brings the biggest smile to my face! You are such a good big brother and I hope you can always remember how much Ryan loves you too! I cannot wait to introduce you to your next sibling, knowing that you are going to love him just the same. The way you pray for him each night is just so lovely and it's encouraging to mommy and daddy to see you so willing to love others! You love your grandparents (both sets!) so much and seeing you grow into their little pal has been truly delightful! You cry when they leave or when we head home from Graham, and it's so genuine that though I am sad for you, I am so thankful that you love them so! We have all gotten to enjoy watching you learn and develop and I am so thankful for those strong support systems in your life! You have changed my life forever and I pray each day that you would grow to love the Lord, that you would have a serving heart, and that the Lord would grow you and continue to bless you. I pray that you know how much you are loved, not just by your daddy and me, but by all the wonderful family and friends we have in our life! May this next year be filled with more laughter, fun and love!
Happy Birthday sweet boy!
Love you!

Happy Labor Day, Summer Wrap-Up

I know, it's been too long since I've updated and Labor Day has really always kind of marked the end of summer. So, I feel a need to wrap up our summer for you, fill in some gaps and let you in on all the fun that August held. Here's an overview of how our summer has come to an end.

Lots of swimming, that's for sure! Mom's pool, her neighborhood pool, the Y and some good church friends' pool. Our little fish is going to miss this when fall arrives!

Ryan grew to like the water quite a bit too, but he was usually content just being held on someone's lap, watching brother show off his skills.

The Criswell's hosted all the young moms from our church for a playgroup pool party! I got to enjoy this day with just Logan and left Ryan at home with Grana.

Logan, Elijah and LeviMama friends and their kiddos


New York family came into town for Ryan's birthday.
This is just a few of the hundreds of pics taken that week!


Here's a brief look at Ryan's party!
Alison and Logan helped decorate cupcakes...
But enjoyed being the taste testers even more!
Mommy's homemade smash cake!

His invitation and fun little details,
created by Oh My Gluestick

Baby Emily made her first appearance to one of our parties

and all the excitement wore her out...

Lots of love, as friends and family filled the home

Ali and Logan enjoyed helping to open presents!

Especially when there was something in there for Logan too!

New pumas, soccer ball and baseball bat...
a boy's dream come true!

Brother showing how the new car works

And this new ride is lots of fun!

Good food

Time for cake

Ryan's Godparents
Eating cake is lots of fun!
(This was the picture on his thank yous!)
Damage was done... smash cake a success!
Bam Bam had a great time and was ready for bed!

When Great Grandma was here we made a day trip to
the Houston Children's Museum.

Ryan really enjoyed it this time, now that he's old enough and mobile enough to make the rounds!
On Ryan's real birthday, we went to Sweet Tomato for dinner, Great Grandma's last night here.

Singing "Happy Birthday!"

It's so FUN to be ONE!


Our dear triplet friends turned 4 on the 31st
Their party was lots of fun, but one question about it would be, "Who had more fun at Pump It Up, the kids, or the parents!?!?!"

Laurie and Avery
We're still kids at heart!
Ryan really enjoyed getting to put his mobility to use!
Ryan enjoyed the cupcake, but that's no surprise!

We enjoyed a fun pool and lake day at the home of one of our dear church friends, the Criswells. There are three new boys in our life (neighbor boys that like to spend time with us and have started attending church with us) and they got to enjoy their first lake experience of boating and tubing!

Logan was ready as ever
For blogging purposes, and since they're not our kids, we'll refer to the three as J, B and T. B is on the left, T in the middle and J on the right. They are fun kids... drive us a bit crazy sometimes, but a joy for Logan and we enjoy showering them with love!

J tubed first

Then took T along too
Jeff rode with B, taking it a bit slower

Logan thought it was great!

Ryan's first time on a boat
And once we took off, he ended up napping in my lap!



And the last thing I've been meaning to post since July. In preparations for our new baby, we painted the gameroom and moved Logan in there.


The train table is a new addition, played with daily. An early birthday present to complete the moving of rooms!
There is no cable on that tv, but since we only have one other tv in the house, it's nice for him to be able to watch a movie with a friend when we want adult time downstairs.
And now this awaits the call from the agency.

This beautiful painting was an anniversary gift from Jeff's parents and will be hung over the new one's crib when he or she arrives.

"And whoever receives one such child
in my name receives Me."
Matthew 18:5


Happy Labor Day!
Hope your summer wrapped up well!