I'll believe it when I SEE it

Wow... these last couple of days have been interesting!

Let me catch you up a bit. Last week (Tuesday) we had a meeting with our agency to discuss where things went wrong with Baby N. We met with people that were pretty high up, got some encouragement and understanding for what we went through and were highly encouraged to stay with them... transferring agencies would put us back a couple of months in being able to have another baby placed with us, and though there were some trust issues, we felt confident that the right people were going to be handling our family from this point on. So, we waited to hear about where Baby N was at that point, as they really felt they had messed up and wanted to try and get him back into our home. Well, he had already been placed into an adoption motivated home, so of course, was not available to come back to us. We didn't get our hopes too high on that possibility, but it was nice to know that the agency was trying to make things "right."

So, fast forward to Friday. We get a call for a baby girl and accept the placement. At first, they were thinking they would place her in our home that day, but then, for reasons having to do with prematurity, they held off until today... Monday. So, (and I hope this impresses you!) I did not BUY one girl thing... three of my friends put together little collections of the basic girl needs and we got a couple of things organized and prepared yesterday. We received a call this morning that the caseworker was headed to the hospital to pick her up and would be at our home around lunchtime with our new baby girl. We had gone about our Monday like normal... a Fall Festival with my Mom2Mom playgroup at a park... not knowing what time all this would take place, and on our way home from the park received another phone call.

Apparently, a family had been identified (from another agency) that had a biological sibling of this baby girl and they had agreed to take her, keeping siblings together. We were put on hold for about an hour, while both agencies and cps got everything straightened out, and were then informed that we would not be receiving this placement. And, to top it all off, when the caseworker got to the hospital this morning, it wasn't even a baby girl!!! It's a boy!!! So really, that's why I titled this "I'll believe it when I SEE it." I guess you never know when you're dealing with cps and the number of agencies/offices out there that place unwanted children!

So, let me help you focus on the three BEST things that come from this experience:

1. We never even had to buy a thing to prepare for this "girl." The friends in my life that are so generous and supportive had given me enough things to get me through at least the first 2 months of this child's life! I may have gone to buy some pacis or something, but clothing was NOT needed! And, I can pass it all right back now if we end up getting a boy in the end!
2. The hospital decided to keep the baby over the weekend! Hallelujah! If this child had been placed with us Friday and the family with the sibling came forward today, we would have had another child taken from us after only three days! Talk about a REAL heart-breaker!
3. This child is going to get to grow up with a sibling... always having a connection to who they are and where they came from. Having two boys myself and seeing how much they love each other, that's pretty special I think! Brothers... so fun!

So, that's where we are as of today. We are still open... we don't think that because something is difficult that it can't be from God. We don't think that we've misheard God in His calling for us to do this for our family.

In the last couple of weeks, quite a few people have asked the question... "Are you still going to adopt now that this has happened?" And the answer, is a strong "Yes!" The conviction that has been placed on both of our hearts doesn't disappear because things don't go the way we want. God's timing is what we are leaning on... His desire and will to be done, in His time, and in His way.

As I seek God in this second situation, I have so much to be thankful for... but mostly, I am so thankful that we were spared from the heartbreak that came last time. I do believe God is asking me to fully trust Him right now... and it with this verse that I will leave you...

"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." Hebrews 11:40

and a song we sing at church that I just love...

We trust in the name of the Lord our God
Some trust in chariots,
We trust in the name of the Lord our God.
Some trust in horses,
We trust in the name of the Lord our God.
Some trust in the work they do,
We trust in the name of the Lord our God.
But by His grace all the work is through.
We trust in the name of the Lord our God.
Some trust in the wealth of things,
We trust in the name of the Lord our God.
The name worth more than anything,
We trust in the name of the Lord our God.
His love never fails,
His name will always prevail,
We trust in the name of the Lord our God!