One Year! Our Adoption Story...

On this day last year, we were blessed with the arrival of a chunky cheeked 3 month old sleeping sweetly in a carseat with a tub of clothes, many of which didn't fit him or were stained beyond belief. I haven't been able to write much about our sweet Joshua and will refrain from posting pictures until our court hearing actually changes his last name to Grace, but it's time to share our story.

He's been with us for a year, a year FULL of trials and tribulations, moments of doubt and moments of thrilling accomplishment and days in which all I could do was either cry or laugh... cry from exhaustion and mental and emotional weariness or laugh at a God that thinks more of me than I do... thinks I can totally handle this. There were days when I thought we'd misheard God... really, why did you want us to do this? It's too hard for this to have been from You?!?! And then, in April, He gave us a picture of how He had planned from the time J was in his mother's womb for him to be in our family. This is seriously the best gift God has ever given me... it came before the summer that brought big surprises and if I hadn't had this picture/story to hold onto, it would have been very understandable to totally lose touch with why we had taken this step in the first place... out of obedience. There is no doubt we felt God calling us to this place and the story I'm about to share removes all the doubt that started to enter when things got tough!

In April, Joshua's birth mother's rights were terminated. It was a big court date for us because there was also going to be family at court that day fighting to receive custody... family that was unfit in the eyes of the court, in no way could afford another child in their home, and most definitely would never be able to care for him without government support... but still, there is always that chance (a big chance actually) that a judge will see blood relatives as the biggest priority, regardless of the best interest of that specific child. At this point he was 9 months old, he knew who "mommy" was and it would have been heartbreaking for him to be moved. 

Because the anticipation of that court date obviously took a toll on us, we had shared our concerns with church friends and family and asked for prayer for the upcoming decisions to be made. This is when I started to ask God several questions...

"Why would you give us a child only to take him away?"

"Did we hear you right, you want us to adopt, right? Not just foster?"

"I don't think I'm cut out for this stress!"

I was really scared, worried and to be honest, I was a pessimist. I thought and was prepared for us to lose him, already thinking about the clothes and toys I would send with him if they told us they were moving him away from us. It was in this moment, when we asked for prayer and shared our worries, that God showed us why He's had us in the church we've been in, with the people we've shared life with these last 5 years... it all came full circle and my faith in God was totally re-booted! You see, when people love you and are supporting your side in a fight, they show up in many ways... and one family in particular was the Turner family. They actually "showed up" by waking up early that Tuesday morning and making the trip downtown to sit with us... just to hold our hands and give us that support, to be the people we could fall on if the news was worst case scenario. We wouldn't have been alone. Some people aren't surprised... I mean, Mr. Turner is an elder in our church. This is his job, right? No! They didn't HAVE to be there... Their son Jeremy (one of our closest friends) didn't HAVE to take time away from his job downtown to come sit with us either! But, this is the Turner family... it's what they do... they care for others, give their time to people in need, no matter how little or big the need... and I know for a fact that God told them to be there that day, that He laid it on their hearts... because, well, here we go....

So, Jeremy is a friend and also happens to be an HPD officer. He showed up that day, sat with us for hours and watched anxiously with his parents when our case was called and we approached the judge. To our surprise, the family was denied their request for custody and then the judge presented the ruling to terminate parental rights (as mom didn't even show up to speak her case!). In this ruling, the mother's name was of course stated and that is where God revealed His mysterious ways. Jeremy recognized the name... he KNEW our son's mother!!! Of course, he had to make sure of it so he didn't tell us anything right away, but after we left and celebrated with a lunch with the Turners and spent the rest of the day updating friends, family and prayer warriors of the happenings in court, the day ended just like any other. Then the next morning, around 7:30am, Jeremy called us to share his part of our sweet son's story. You see, he happened to have worked the streets in the neighborhood Joshua is originally from... small world, right?!?!

Let's backtrack a little... we began the adoption certification process in March of 2010... and my biggest personal prayer, as a mother, was that someone out their was pregnant with my child! How do you pray about that?!?! I prayed for protection! You obviously can't pray for her to get her act together, because if that happened you wouldn't get the child in the end... but you can pray for her big decisions to be wise ones, for someone to be put in her life during the pregnancy that will help her consider the child above herself, maybe convince her to go to the doctor and get the baby checked on. I had no idea how God could answer these prayers, but there was definitely a peace brought over me just in being able to make these requests to God. You know when Jeremey first met Joshua's mother? You guessed it... in March of 2010!!!

He met her... he realized she was pregnant and obviously "lost" in this world. He checked in on her often, maybe weekly, between March and Joshua's birth in July. He asked her to go to the doctor and though we don't have any records that she did, my prayer was answered in that he asked her to and put that thought in her head. He simply asked her things like, "How's the pregnancy?", "Are you taking care of yourself?" And when he saw her after the baby was born, he asked about him... where he was, was he healthy, etc... TALK ABOUT GOD USING ANGELS RIGHT HERE IN THIS WORLD TO ANSWER OUR PRAYER!!!

So Jeremy calls us, crying, realizing that God was using him when he had no idea... he was doing a job, night shift that he wasn't happy about, and God had him there at that time for a purpose. And just to throw this in, the Turner family had been praying for his night work to be ended, that he would get changed to days. Well, when God was done using Jeremy in the work of our child's life, that prayer was answered and he's been on days every since! Amazing, right?!?! I know that time was hard on my dear friend Laurie (Jeremy's wife) and I was praying too, for her to have the relief of his schedule and that God would bless them with a shift change... all the while, God was using him on those nights to answer my other prayer.

You know what amazes me most about this story? That God shared it with us. He didn't have to! I believe He does this all the time, using people to be angels among us, helping His will to be done and prayers to be answered. But He let us see this picture of His sovereign hand in our lives! He let us know that from the day we decided to adopt, to answer His calling, He chose that child and immediately put someone in his life that would connect him to us later, to give us peace about the battle we were ensuing.

You see, I needed this story... because the challenges of raising Joshua didn't stop with that court date, with the family being denied and birth mom's rights being terminated. June came and so did some very big surprises as to what we may have in store for us in raising this sweet child. He has some developmental issues that we are working on... nothing you or anyone else would ever notice at first glance, but things that I, as a mother, just knew weren't clicking for him. And the truth is, knowing nothing about his family history (as with almost every adoption case like ours!) we have no idea how many hurdles we'll have to jump in the years of raising him... but you know what will make it all easier to handle? This story!! Knowing that God chose Joshua for us and us for Joshua... knowing that He has provided us with friends and a church family that loves us and supports us and that believes in what we're doing!

Our family has been so special in all of this too... and I know we asked a lot of them when we adopted and added to our "load" here at home. My parents, who live close and Jeff's parents, who are a bit further away have been such strong prayer warriors too, in addition to giving of their time and energies to help in raising him and our other boys. They help watch the older ones when J has a special appointment and our mothers (Grandma and Grana) have been such selfless servants these last 12 months; my mom making several downtown trips with me for appts and meetings and giving of her weekdays so freely, with her life full of its own stuff all the while. Grana has spent time here (week-at-a-time visits) just to help out and grow closer to her boys. This story would not be complete without mentioning the love and support they've shown... even when it's been hard and they've worried about seeing us get hurt in it all... they rejoice with us as we celebrate how close we are to a final court date.

Last Friday was adoptive placement day. This means no more CPS visits! He is our son, just awaiting the court date to change his name legally to "Grace" and make it all official. At that time, we will give praise and thanks to our family, to our church friends and family and to God... thanks for walking alongside us through this journey and showing us the love of Christ.

Isn't God amazing?

So, when Joshua wonders about why him, why us, why did he end up where he is now, we'll have this story to share... Jeremy will be in his life and will be able to answer questions for him, guide him and love him through his questions... and we'll be able to witness to him how being obedient and answering God's callings isn't a guarantee of ease, but it is a guarantee of blessings! For let's be honest, this last year has been everything but easy, but we have been blessed beyond measure to see God at work, first hand, in our lives!!!

A few scriptures that come to mind every time I re-live this story...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper and not to harm, to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

"He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." -Deuteronomy 32:4

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!" -Romans 11:33



Thanks for reading... this was a very therapeutic thing, for me to finally be able to write this all down and share it with you all!